I learnt something today, a lesson that is regularly taught and I acknowledge regularly- but today I learnt it a different way.
The place I had chosen (next to the other fruit trees) was apparently not suitable (which it was and is) and the excavator that I wanted to use sitting in my shed with no driver because that human component had also dived into another project of wiring ute trays.
Do it yourself, you actually have to do it yourself. You can call upon components that will make it easier, use tools, people with skills and other apparatuses but when they are not available, out of reach and you want to move forward? It is you that must get it done.
Now, I am not throwing negative comments at my other half, BUT, today we NEEDED to plant some fruit tree’s we had been gifted. They were in their housing pots and had been for a few days as our intention to plant them was interrupted with family and other activities. Well, today I made time and organized to have them planted; only to have the other components change their minds.
The place I had chosen (next to the other fruit trees) was apparently not suitable (which it was and is) and the escavator that I wanted to use sitting in my shed with no driver because that human component had also dived into another project of wiring ute trays.
So, here I was with a desire to plant the trees, with all the components available to me, but with the human component reluctant to be of help because it didn’t suit them at the time. I was told to drive the vehicle myself (which lets face it, I don’t know how and even if I did try I would of dug too deep, hit pipes or electricity and be dead). I was frustrated because if someone would just dig me two holes, I could tend the soil, compost, plant the trees, add mulch and add barriers and protection whilst everyone else returned to their jobs.
Instead of throwing a tantrum, I walked away and sat out where I wanted to plant the trees. The wind was still soft and the sun was intermittent, I had made the time to be here and I was committed to doing it. The impulse of what to do next just washed over me, like when the Sun slowly reveals itself from the clouds, my ancestors never had a big digger machine, any electric tools or aids, if they wanted to plant something they did it by hand.
I probably didn’t go the easiest way about it, but I did it. I got a pair of black panther cutters, little hand tool, a hand spade/shovel, gloves and my compost, soil and mulch and marched to the area I had deemed fit. I got on my hands and knees and cut with those bloody hand cutters the grass around a small/medium circumference and pushed the hand shovel under the roots. I twisted and pulled until I exposed a nice circle of dirt, free from grass and rubbish. The next part seems ridiculous, but it was kind of therapeutic. I literally dug holes in the ground 60cm deep with a freaking hand shovel, 2 of them to be exact. It took me 2 hours to do so, but I bloody did it. My hands ached and the sweat felt like frustration leaving my body, I was digging my way out of a dependence, into a mindset of doing things my way.
After digging, I turned soil, planted trees, added mulch, created barriers and added bags for protection. I was in a trance of action, I just knew what had to be done and how, trusting my judgement and doing what I wanted. There was something about the completion, looking at the beautiful tree’s that will grow and one day bear fruit, the pain in my hands felt like success, the sweat filled shirt felt like satisfaction and then the breeze picked up, cooled my body and brought a collection of feathers to my feet. I picked them up and put them in my hat- truly feeling like I was being ‘pat on the back’ by nature and brought water to my new friends that I will tend too.
I know that seemed long winded, but for me I had to share. There was so much power in just doing it, with so little, not taking the easy route and going back to basics. It felt natural and with it evolved an innate knowledge of ‘this is how it’s done’. Its transferable to so many other areas of my life, our lives and your life. Where do we hold on or give our power away? Where have we stopped because a component isn’t operative or even better, where have you stopped because you don’t THINK you know WHAT to do next?
Truth is, you know, you just have to allow yourself the space to let it come to you. Listen, because there is something telling you everything.
